Retrospection

I looked back today. Down a winding road, full of sticks and stones, a road that sometimes doesn't feel so comfortable. I had an amazing realization. I am living the life I imagined. And it seemed shocking. That I, little old me, me that in my brain seems somewhat unremarkable, had taken steps to live what I wanted. How completely freeing, delightful, scary, and enlightening that felt.


I never felt like I was doing something extraordinary. It just always seemed I tried to do what made me happy, so I did it. It wasn't meant to be anything world-changing, it wasn't meant to be anything to boast about.


But today I looked back and became extremely proud. Proud of who I had become, and who I was still becoming. Proud that even though I am not always sure (in fact I hardly ever am) I am always striving to be the best.


And I cannot believe what I have done and am about to do. I didn't go to college. At least, not conventionally. Yeah, I have about 50 or more credits under my belt, but that wasn't what I was striving for. I went to India, and I went to Guatemala and watched my heart break again and again with the light of seeing suffering.


I came home. I rescued a puppy. I fell in love for the 100th time for the same man. And now I am about to leave again. Back to Argentina, to Chile, with nothing more than a sleeping bag, a backpack and a few coins in my pocket.


I am not telling you this to seem amazing. I am not trying to be a backpacker. I am not trying to be a traveller. But today I looked and realized I was becoming exactly who I wanted to be. That I hadn't forgotten to twirl like some people do.


I hope that you can look back and be amazed at what you have done. I hope you can find the courage to do what you know is right. It isn't about the image, it isn't about telling as many people as you can. This is your journey, your path.


And it is pretty damn cheesy. But hell, sometimes that's all I have. Sometimes I cannot write anything eloquent. I will not. Because we can all relate to words hastily written down and said before we lose the courage.